This week has brought lots of change. For that matter this year has brought lots of change. I hate change. The older I get the more I resist it.
My youngest brother Pierce left for his mission in Columbia on Wednesday.
He is the same age as my oldest daughter. Its like losing one of my own. I didnt think I would be as sad as I was. Dont get me wrong , I am happy for him and the growth he will have. But I cant help feel a little heartbroken. You know the feeling when you are standing on the edge of a page as its turning and you dont want to move on, knowing nothing will ever be the same.
With this milestone for Pierce brings milestones for my kids who are the same age. Maybe this is the real reason I am sad. Im sad because this is the begining of the end. The beginning of my kids moving on and leaving me. The beginning of them not needing me. The beginning of their lives.
Tana got her drivers license. Jancy is applying for scholarships for college. Taryn is going to middle school. Jessica has a boyfriend.
We are definetly not in Kansas anymore.
So yesterday began Jess not needing me (photographically speaking) We had a fun photoshoot planned with her new car and puppy. I couldnt help feeling her heart wasnt in it. It could have been the early hour of 6 am or she hated the dress or even she hated her hair.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Last week Jancy (17 yrs) started training at a new dance studio 40 minutes from Queen Creek 4 times a week. I took her there the first week. The studio is in Tempe so we have to take the 202 and 101 to get there. So the 4 times I drove her there I would point out the various exits to take note of. I told her " Just remember right after Dobson the next exit is the 101 so make sure your in the left hand lane before Dobson." Then 2 exits on the 101 and your there.
This week she drove herself. Like most new (and some old) drivers she is scared of the freeway. When she got home last Monday from driving herself she announced "the freeway is not that scary if you know where you are going." Wow profound. In my head I'm thinking ... The freeway is a lot like life. Its not that scary if you know where you are going. Like a plan, like a 6 year plan, like God's plan.
Then I felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude. I know what Gods plan is. As a Latter-Day Saint I believe in the plan of salvation.
We lived in heaven before we were born as Gods spirit children. Because he loved us God had a plan for us to to come to earth and gain a body. He knew we would make mistakes and need a way to repent. Someone to be our redeemer, to redeem us from our sins. He sent his son Jesus to be our Savior. So we can repent through his atonement and keep trying to be like him. Live as he did.
So we come to earth to learn and grow .... To Remember who we are. A child of Diety. When we die we return to him and he will ask "Did you keep my commandments. Did you do the things I asked" Did you help your fellow men" How did you live"
So the plan of salvation provides a way for us to gain a body, learn by experience, show that we will obey his commandments, and return to him stronger and wiser.
When we understand that life on earth has a purpose and is part of Heavenly Father's plan, we can begin to make correct decisions.
Of course this all sound all very simple. But the most important part is listening to what God wants for you. It is usually a very quite voice but in your heart you will know.
I know God loves me. He has a plan for me. Sometimes I hear it loud and clear and other times I have to stop and be very still to hear it.
I know God and his Son Jesus Christ live. I know Jesus came to earth. He was a real man and he suffered for my sins and all mankinds sins in the Garden of Gestmene. He died and was resurrected. Just as you and I will.
I know Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. He restored the Lords church on the earth. With the keys to the priesthood to act in Gods name.
I know we are guided by a prophet today. Thomas S. Monson. His guidance and counsel keeps us safe from the evils and pitfall that destroy our families and lives. The evils that prevent us from living how of Savior did.
I know the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. Its teachings bring me peace and guide me to do the Lords will.